Sunday, June 12, 2011

Quality Not Quantity

So once again I'll start my blog off with an excuse, even though I know you don't want to hear it. 
So at first, writing this blog was like a chore and I wasn't willing to take the time to do it, and now (well it's still like a chore) but I can say it's because I am actually spending my time much more efficiently and not just because i'm a floja.


As you will recall in my last blog, it was becoming more and more of a reality that I wouldn't be able to fulfill my year long commitment here in Bolivia alone, because of my Visa. Now, after six long months of trying to obtain this unobtainable Visa, exhausting my time, energy and resources, I have accepted the fact that I am not going to get this thing, and therefore will only be able to stay here for 6 months. 
After having the requirements change for the last time, I was at my wits end and feeling extremely lost and confused. 


The thing was that when I first decided that I wanted to volunteer, I knew that I wanted it to be for a long period of time. When I finally found VIDES and what they stood for and that one-year missions were the norm, I knew I was in the right place. 
After getting accepted for one-year at Casa Main, I knew that I was on the right path, that the Lord was indeed guiding my path. 


The benefits of being in one place for a long period of time was always what I held onto when I was going through a rough patch, that I knew the Lord wanted me here.
For this reason, I was very reluctant to accept the fact that I might have to leave before my one-year was up and had a very unsettled feeling in my heart. But during this whole experience, my friends and loved ones all had a similar message; that in the case of having to leave early, ENJOY the time you have left and LOVE them with just as much love as I would in one year, concentration rather than duration. 
So when I finally gave up the fight, surrendered and said I'm done trying, I found a peace in my heart and that's when things started to change. 


The day after deciding that I was only going to stay for 6 months, I felt this immense weight lifted off of my shoulders and I realized the difference between being physically present and mentally present. I hadn't realized just how much I stressed and worried about this thing, and after giving up the fight, it gave me more time to actually be present for the girls, mentally and physically.
Before, when there would be free time or a chance to just lounge around and BE with the girls, I always had the mindset/excuse that if I didn't use my time for my Visa now (emailing this person, calling that consulate, applying for those papers, etc.) that I wouldn't ever be able to have free time with the girls. All be it warranted, in the end it made for a lot of wasted time. 


Now, I feel like I've been more productive and spent more quality time with these girls in this past month, than I had in my first 3 months. I am not full of regret or anger, I am just full of thanks. I'm finally giving my whole self, and doing what I came here to do: to play, to care, to share, to correct, to learn, to laugh and to love. Taking the time to be present in the little moments, which are what really matter the most.


My situation as of now, is that my director of VIDES+USA, Sr. Mary Gloria, is working on finding me a new site, still in South America, but out of Bolivia, for my last 6 months. Now, we wait and see what the Lord provides and I couldn't be happier and more full of thanks. I don't know or understand why the Lord has chosen this path for me, but I choose to trust and keep the faith. Because I know that no matter what happens, as long as I trust and keep saying yes, He will provide.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path."Proverbs 3:5-6


P.S. STILL waiting on my first letter/picture/postcard/coloring page/anything that can fit in an envelope. 
So here we go one more time peeps, take notes...
  • 3 stamps
  • USPS
  • To: Rebecca Steichen Casilla 542 Santa Cruz de la Sierra, Bolivia
So all you people that were like, "We're sending you something!" get on it cause I'm only gonna be around for 2 more months! And let's just say the Bolivian postal service isn't the most reliable in the world, so better sooner than later. God Bless. Hasta Luego. 
The girls in their traditional Bolivian dance costumes for the Maria Auxiladora Festival